Conflict Resolution

The Employee & Labor Relations (ELR) office offers consultation and resolution strategies for workplace issues to promote an efficient, effective, respectful and collaborative work environment. ELR assists in communications between employees and supervisors, corrective action and planning, disciplinary actions, performance management, disability accommodation, and explanation and clarification of University policies and procedures. ELR may be contacted at (575) 646-2449 or elr@nmsu.edu.

Topics found on this page:

  • Mediation Services
  • Facilitation Services
  • Employee Assistance Program

 

Mediation Services

The goal of mediation is to help people communicate clearly, understand one another, and focus on how they can best work together in the future. The object of mediation is for each person to take responsibility for making their concerns known in a reasonable way (not hinting or expecting others to be mind-readers, and not being rude or hurtful), and also arriving at an acceptable solution for all parties. The goal is to make things better, not worse!

Tips to help you prepare for a mediated session

  1. Have a clear idea of what you want to accomplish through the mediation discussion.
  2. The initial mediation session will be schedule for two hours. Another session will be scheduled if not completed at end of time allotted.
  3. Approach the meeting with a positive, optimistic attitude…MOST PROBLEMS CAN BE RESOLVED!
  4. Stick to only 1 issue at a time. If there is more than one issue, address each in turn. DO NOT DENY what someone says is a problem to them.
  5. The person who asked for the discussion should state the problem/concern as they see it, uninterrupted…be concise and prevent a monologue. SPEAK ONLY FOR YOURSELF.
  6. The other person states the issue from their side, also uninterrupted.
  7. ALWAYS be polite, courteous and professional.
  8. Do not attack the person… address PROBLEMS, ISSUES AND BEHAVIORS.
  9. Be flexible and reasonable.
  10. Treat the person with mutual respect. No name-calling, demeaning, labeling, or sarcasm… remain positive and constructive at all times.
  11. Do not use (or tolerate) negative body language. Address it directly.
  12. Use “I” statements, not “You” statements to explain how you are impacted.
  13. Stick to the facts… do not exaggerate (e.g. “Nothing… never… I always…”).
  14. Do not try to change the other’s opinions or feelings. Everyone is entitled to their opinions and feeling… give serious consideration to their point of view. Collaboration means opening to views other than your own.
  15. Do not condemn people, but fears or concerns can be expressed openly.
  16. Do not drag up the past for blame. However, SPECIFIC examples should be used to demonstrate concerns and issues.
  17. No yelling, and no being silent or not communicating at all. A cool down or time-out should be taken when needed. Say how long is needed and when you will resume the discussion.
  18. Discussion continues with only one person speaking at a time, no interruptions. Each person getting their turn, each actively listening to the other.
  19. Each person has to be willing to negotiate in good faith in order for mediation to work.
  20. The parties to the mediation are responsible for coming up with resolutions to the problems. The focus should be on the future, not the past (ie. How are we going to proceed into the future?).
  21. Don’t force a choice. Look for a win-win solution.
  22. Success means that each person has been treated respectfully during the process and has been acknowledged and empowered to make decisions consistent with their feelings and beliefs.

Listening Skills

  • Listening is the ability to be silent and give undivided attention to the person speaking.
  • It is the ability to really hear and receive the message from the point of view of the speaker, without preparing to respond or to debate what they are saying.
  • Careful listening helps us see through other people’s eyes, to see how they see, to know what their assumptions are.
  • Careful listening allows us to let the other person know that we are really hearing them.
  • Listening is the fundamental communications skill for solving problems collaboratively.

Make a Commitment to Help Each Other Succeed!

 


 

Facilitation Services

The goal of facilitation is to help people communicate clearly, understand one another, and focus on how they can best work together in the future. The object of facilitation is for each person to take responsibility for making their concerns known in a reasonable way (not hinting or expecting others to be mind-readers, and not being rude or hurtful), and also arriving at an acceptable solution for all parties. The goal is to make things better, not worse!

Tips to help you prepare for a facilitated session:

  1. Have a clear idea of what you want to accomplish through the facilitated discussion.
  2. The initial facilitation session will be schedule for two hours. Another session will be scheduled if not completed at end of time allotted.
  3. Approach the meeting with a positive, optimistic attitude…MOST PROBLEMS CAN BE RESOLVED!
  4. Stick to only 1 issue at a time. If there is more than one issue, address each in turn. DO NOT DENY what someone says is a problem to them.
  5. The person who asked for the discussion should state the problem/concern as they see it, uninterrupted…be concise and prevent a monologue. SPEAK ONLY FOR YOURSELF.
  6. The other person states the issue from their side, also uninterrupted.
  7. ALWAYS be polite, courteous and professional.
  8. Do not attack the person… address PROBLEMS, ISSUES AND BEHAVIORS.
  9. Be flexible and reasonable.
  10. Treat the person with mutual respect. No name-calling, demeaning, labeling, or sarcasm… remain positive and constructive at all times.
  11. Do not use (or tolerate) negative body language. Address it directly.
  12. Use “I” statements, not “You” statements to explain how you are impacted.
  13. Stick to the facts… do not exaggerate (e.g. “Nothing… never… I always…”).
  14. Do not try to change the other’s opinions or feelings. Everyone is entitled to their opinions and feeling… give serious consideration to their point of view. Collaboration means opening to views other than your own.
  15. Do not condemn people, but fears or concerns can be expressed openly.<
  16. Do not drag up the past for blame. However, SPECIFIC examples should be used to demonstrate concerns and issues.
  17. No yelling, and no being silent or not communicating at all. A cool down or time-out should be taken when needed. Say how long is needed and when you will resume the discussion.
  18. Discussion continues with only one person speaking at a time, no interruptions. Each person getting their turn, each actively listening to the other.
  19. Each person has to be willing to negotiate in good faith in order for mediation to work.
  20. The parties to the mediation are responsible for coming up with resolutions to the problems. The focus should be on the future, not the past (ie. How are we going to proceed into the future?).
  21. Don’t force a choice. Look for a win-win solution.
  22. Success means that each person has been treated respectfully during the process and has been acknowledged and empowered to make decisions consistent with their feelings and beliefs.

Listening Skills

  • Listening is the ability to be silent and give undivided attention to the person speaking.
  • It is the ability to really hear and receive the message from the point of view of the speaker, without preparing to respond or to debate what they are saying.
  • Careful listening helps us see through other people’s eyes, to see how they see, to know what their assumptions are.
  • Careful listening allows us to let the other person know that we are really hearing them.
  • Listening is the fundamental communications skill for solving problems collaboratively.

Make a Commitment to Help Each Other Succeed!

 


 

Employee Assistance Program

 Website: http://chc.nmsu.edu/eap/

For Employees: NMSU offers an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) through the University Health Center. They provide confidential counseling for faculty and staff experiencing personal and work related issues affecting their job performance. Faculty and staff experiencing issues with alcohol or drug abuse are encouraged to contact them. An employee’s spouse or significant other is also eligible for services. There is no cost for counseling.

For Supervisors: EAP provides consultation for department heads and supervisors concerning identification and intervention of faculty and staff experiencing personal or work related issues affecting job performance. EAP professional staff are available for educational seminars pertaining to general well-being, leadership, and work related issues.